I am freaking angry now. why won’t my life turn a bit better right now? People around me are so superficial, trying to be nice and befriend me, why is it so hard just to talk normally? They put the thought of me behind, this is so pathetic. what with all this fuck shit going on? Going one big round just to tell me something, give me a break, will you? Just tell me the what you want to tell and stop wasting my time. What the Fuck! Say what, the group is your second home, don’t give me this bullshit and I don’t even feel like I belong to it, some more I don’t want to be in it. Don’t spread your virus to me. Just leave me alone. Am I wasting my time here? maybe I am wasting it away. the look at their face make me sick! You all don’t know me at all, not a single bit. You are so rotten even maggots avoid you! if you want to know me just tell me the truth about me how you hate me and how much trouble you do to me. I really want to punch all your face, it may even make it look better. If you think I am self-pitying myself than you are so wrong, I am just angry about you and i just expressing out how much I hated you will all your acts. I seen your kind a lot in this church and I despite you people. You don’t even deserve to be a leader and all, can’t even move your people from point A to point B together. I sound like a commentator but commentator only say what he want but i say are the truth. You know why I so hate you people, because you all are so not real, if you don’ like me in any way than tell me, because I will do the same to you. All your first, second and third rule bullshit, keeping like a secret like that. Fuck it! I hate all your inside joke and all and you know what i hope you all FMD because you all never even put me in the picture. All you know is doing your shit and speaking to each other like I am invincible and not there. I don’t see any brother type of relationship in there, no one will step up to do thing together and do it all the way. All you know is I got something on later I will take my leave and in the end everyone left like each one of you are a stranger. I don’t know why I always got into a group that always like that. You don’t know me? Don’t give me that bullshit. If you want to know me than you will ask me out to talk just like Kenneth did. He really want to know me, he give his time to me when I requested, so I respect that. Even thing that not him he will still do it with me and return I will do with him what he want to do. He what i respect of him even I make mistake, he will not tell me to change, instead he guide me to the right path together with me. Doing life together and share his problem as I share mine. You my shepherd, Don’t make me laugh, you alone are a joke in the beginning. My NS time i can spit it in first year and second year, first year is the year that I teasure the most the second year is the year I hate the most. Do you get it? if you do than Fuck off!!!
